Bros came around. He is my mother’s little
brother’s son. He is like 2 years older than
Willie. That was a rough guess. Jidenna is
his name but we out of respect addressed
him as Bros Jide. Small talks going around
had it that he thought Willie how to be a
clown and a ladies guy. He too was a clown
of his own.
As the stories went, it was in our little village
that Willie was tutored. Back when Bros was
sent to take care of my mother’s mother, our
grandmother. He took care of himself and the
Chics instead. Then Willie went on holidays
to the Village. He came back all baptized and
became a new being in the game.
He told me tales about it. How Bros will tell
him to change his playboy orientation. He
told him how he needs to let those cheap
girls be. There was no fun in running after
them, they always had a “Yes” ready for your
advances so there was no challenge in it and
there was less fun.
“You have to make a deep chase mehn.
When you do that and then she finally falls,
bro girls like that who take time to fall when
they eventually fall, they fall head over heels
and then you have their remote control, their
proper mumu button.”
That was how Bros Jide always preaches. He
would often say,
“If I wanted a cheap girl and cheap S£x I
would go to the brothel. It’s not expensive
and the girls are cleaner.”
That was how he Godfathered Willie in the
affairs of the skirts. So he was around the
house and everywhere was as hot as can be.
He had a bit of cash and it was just us
alone. I feasted long enough on his
benevolence, always buying a thing or two
for my baby and our babies and telling her
they were exclusively paid for by me. We
spent 15 minutes of each day in chemist
shops either pricing condoms or postinor 2
and always came home singing and all
drunk. He would notice the way his sister,
Amarachi would stare at me and the way I
replied the look, then he would ask.
“Come, are the two of you drinking from the
I would shake my head and ask him why I
would want to drink from that waters with
my own blood. “I don’t know about you shaa
but I would have not only drank from that
stream but bathed in it with Ujunwa your
sister if she was my agemate,” he would say
and we would stagger into my room to plan
out for the next day, flushing used condoms
into the toilet.
I wasn’t up to 35% sure I was going to make
heaven but if I had another brother very
close to me and he was Bros. I would be
100% sure of going straight to hell. Even
then, the ladies down there wouldn’t be free
from our torments, the fire notwithstanding.
We would turn and toss on my bed
discussing into the night about nothing but
the ladies. He kept teaching me new things I
needed to know, like how to deny a girl that
might take in for me in the later future. That
guy was savage. He wasn’t exactly sure as
he says but he was guessing he might have
fathered a couple of kids somewhere.
Willie came home a couple of days later and
a playboy gang was formed in our house. For
a while, a very long while, I seemed to forget
about my twins and my very fine girlfriend. It
wasn’t my fault, just that Naza insisted on
refusing me things as little as a French kiss
and little s£nsat!onal hugs here and there. I
had bros and I had Willie and we had a lot of
other girls to keep us busy. Girls who
thought I was Sekxy and fun to be with. Little
things that Naza would never agree to or
would agree to once in a blue sun. She loves
me no doubt but I am a guy and I loved
hearing that once in a while.
The day came that the playboy inc of my
family’s chapter took a day out. Each to his
chic. I hooked Freda up. It had been a while
and I needed a break from all those times I
kept awake to baby cries. I have been gone
for a long while from them and their mother
wasn’t complaining neither were they. Freda
had turned into a proper slay queen but she
still felt a thing or two for me and I still loved
the shape of her body. We formed the perfect
couple while bros and Willie hooked two
random girls I had never met before.
They were cute like they loved their girls to
be and they ate us up like smoked fish.
Starting from the joint.
Bros was smiling all through. He had a
couple of cash with him so we were good.
The girls loved booze and that was what the
guys loved. Drunk girls were bae except that
Freda refused to get drunk. She was trying
her best to reawaken what I thought was
dead in her and me. The feelings that we had
back then, when she could never go to bed
without hearing my voice. Back when Willie
would address her as my wife right before
her and call her my third wife with her back
turned. Yes, that feeling was great back then
but I have no clue about now. In as much as
Naza was being conservative with what she
gave to me, I still loved her and would never
want to hurt her that much.
“So you are a father now,” she stated more
than ask. I nodded slowly as the girl with
Bros tried effortlessly to gain my attention
with her eyes. The table was getting loaded
with more drinks and Willie was busy
ensuring that it was Heineken through out.
He had high taste and it would be a pity if he
ended up poor in life.
“Are you now going to marry her?” she
“Marry who?” I asked without looking at her.
“The mother of your children,” she said
avoiding calling her name. She hated Naza to
an extent. An understandable thing.
“Why are you asking me that now?” I asked,
stuffing my bottle into my mouth and winking
at Bros’s girl.
“I want to know, girls who give birth before
marriage have their market value cut in
“What about girls who abort?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
Giggles passed around the boys and the girls
sipped their drinks uneasily.
“Remember when you were eager to get
pregnant for me?” I asked, trying to cover up
the uneasiness that had enveloped our
“Remember what you promised me?” she
“Yes, I said I will marry you.”
“Where you lying then?” she asked.
“Joking,” I muttered, sipping my bottle.
“What?” she asked in a snap.
“Lying and Joking, they are two different
words with very different meanings.”
“I hate you,” she said and I smiled at her.
“I love you,” I grinned.
“I love you too baby,” she said and giggled.
Bros got the table filled up with meat and we
partied into the evening.
To be continued